After witnessing countless unsuccessful or hectic marriages amongst family and friends We decided to give out an article about marriage. What is marriage? as discussed in Our former post "Marriage in Islam is inevitable".
On the Facebook site: Numerous Life lessons are learned but most of us don't know, Only to come online chat, like, comment and post pictures. It states the following quote:
“A relationship should be a safe haven, not a battle zone.” That is my simple definition of marriage a safe haven.
A good example of this definition comes from Prophet Muhammad’s (S.A.W) marriage with Seyyidah Khadijah when the prophet first received revelation (Wahi) the first person he confided what he had witnessed was to his wife Khadijah who comforted him and reassured him that he wasn’t going crazy and that he had in fact been chosen by God to carry out his work.
In western media, one of the main frictions in marriage is cited as money. In Islam, it says in the Q4 vs 34:
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ ۚ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ ۚ وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا
"Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them, guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand."
But what happens when the husband does not have the money or has very little money. Again we turn to the Prophet’s life for example. On one occasion the Prophet’s wives demanded money and goods to which the Prophet responded by saying if they want money and goods he is willing to divorce them and will personally find rich men and marry them off to them. The wives responded by retracting their demand for money and goods and chose to stay married to him.
There is also the example of Khadijah who was a very wealthy lady and the Prophet’s wife she spent her money generously on the Prophet and the cause of Islam.
There is also an example of Seyyidah Aisha and other wives of the Prophet who went without food for days but remained steadfast partners for the Prophet.
There is also the example of Seyyidah Liya (Prophet Ayoub’s wife) she shared a rich prosperous life with Prophet Ayoub but when difficult times struck in the form of poverty and sickness she worked in people’s houses and supported Prophet Ayoub in every way, mean and manner she could.
But in the face of adversary, not all women respond like Seyyidah Khadijah and Seyyidah Asiya. Prophet Ayoub had several wives when difficult times came namely poverty and sickness they all left him except Hazrat Asiya who was a very pious lady.
Life has its ups and downs when looking for a spouse husband or wife in my opinion one should keep this in mind and look for a spouse on the basis of their religiosity, not for someone who is only going to be there for the good times and is nowhere to be found when difficulties arise. Or turns into a hideous monster when poverty or sickness strike.
Living in this day and age where social ills are rampant I strongly urge everyone whether single or married to read Prophet Muhammed’s biography and biographies of other Prophets such as Ayoub and Yusuf and Yaqub to gain insight and inspiration from their lives and how to deal with various difficulties in life especially marital life.
Please Note: The article though meant for both men and women focuses more on the role of women in marriage and monetary issues
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